Four Signs That Your New Friend May be a Time Traveler

I wrote this because you just... never... know.

Four Signs That Your New Friend May Be a Time Traveler

1. Your friend has the irritating habit of, during a completely normal conversation, suddenly adopting a look of alarm and running away with a sense of urgency, often accompanied by a brief utterance, such as “Then it’s not too late!” or “Forget the stupid time-space continuum! I can fix that!”

2. When you first met your friend, they were dressed strangely, or even offensively. Examples include wearing a life preserver far away from any body of water or a hat resembling a small, sleeping wombat. Either they have just arrived from another time and have not had time to change, or they are unaware of what the rules of acceptable dress are in this time.

3. Your friend does not know how to use, or appears transfixed with, commonplace technology. Examples include attempting conversation with radios or television sets, riding escalators up and down over and over again, playing with the lever on toasters to such an effect as to burn the bread, or walking endlessly in circles in a revolving door. (Note: this last example does not necessarily indicate that your friend is from another time.)

4. Your friend uses uncommon or outdated slang terms, such as “That’s just infestational!” or “This is heavy.”

Also, a tip: If you ever pick up the phone, the caller doesn't introduce themselves, and the voice on the other end sounds remarkably like yours, just hang up and register for a new phone number as soon as possible.

~Naddie